Humeurs

Street of loneliness

Dawson Falls - New Zealand

Dawson Falls – New Zealand

 

“Did you come with a boyfriend or a friend?” For some people, the simple concept of doing something alone is hard to understand. So when it comes to a girl, travelling alone, it’s out of their imagination. You are advised.  You are warned. You are moralized. It seems to be spontaneous. Words flow over you, reinforcing even more your sense of adventure.

But that’s from outside. What fewer people know is what’s going on inside, because your pride and ego put in silent your weaknesses. Your modesty quiets your experiences. The girl who travel alone is the one quiet in the hostel, seek of starting again a conversation by where are you from or when did you arrived here. You prefer quality to quantity. Saying that, when comes the end of a rainy day of travelling, you very much appreciate the warmth of a friendly conversation.

You don’t have the smooth body of a boyfriend or the support of an old mate. You are alone with your fears, your doubts, questions, alone with yourself, confronted to your deeper demons. But what a good way to know yourself better. One of the priceless rewards of travelling alone: self-exploration. You discover your limits, far behind where you thought they were.  You develop your strengths and tame your weaknesses. You know what you want and go get it.

You spend long hours walking, speaking to yourself. You say “wouha” inside. You smile at people in the street because you want to scream how happy you are in this present moment. You pitch your one person tent; you cook in your one person pot. Everything works out just well.

And suddenly because you’re happy as you are, life drops someone on your way. You didn’t ask for it, you didn’t look for it, unexpected. You see this person and you know it. You know that you have to leave something together. It’s still a stranger at this stage, but soon he will become the only person able to understand what you’re going through.

It might not last, and that’s the thrill of it. But for few days, few weeks, you will look at his eyes and see the same sparkle as in yours. You will share you stories and listen at new ones. You will be inspired. You will still enjoy moments of loneliness, after all, you are a solo traveler. But you know that at some point, you have someone to share some cold rice or a drop of dentifrice.

Life goes on and you will soon be on the road alone again. You won’t really be the same anymore, but isn’t it the point of it all? Being alone allowed you to change because nobody is here to remind you who you were before. You can become who you want to be, you can just be yourself.

 

Claire.

Written in Te Anau, New Zealand

English is only the second language of the writter.
We apologize for the approximate grammar but hope you still enjoyed the reading.